The age of fitness fanaticism

Welcome to the age of Fitness Fanaticism, where the gym is open until 22h00 daily (20h00 on Sundays) and more regularly frequented by some than church. Why go to church when you can sweat out your regrets on the treadmill confessional? Each drop of perspiration and each heaving breath betrays your sinful weekday life and gluttonous weekend pillage in search of spoils. 

Monday is the most popular gym day.

On my way to school at 07h00, I see The Gym People out running. I have even seen them jogging in the rain. Shirtless. I look at these extremely fit morning people and I feel a bit sorry for them despite their killer abs and superior lung capacity. I suppose they feel sorry for me too. You can tell from a glance at my undefined cheekbones that I favour sleep over morning exercise.

Come spring time, posters go up around the gym reminding members that it is nearing bikini season. The flyers are slightly humorous but mosly threatening. Reality slaps you in the face with a cold fried chicken when you realise that you in fact suffer from the severe swimsuit dread syndrome (or SSDS for short) described on the posters and present with most, if not all, of the symptoms mentioned.

The only cure for this socially crippling disease? Gym.

Prognosis? Good. A slimmer, leaner and therefore better you.

Some people have come to the conclusion that exercise is just too hard and are taking the easy way out – plastic surgery. One hour under the knife for results that will look like you’ve spent your life running on the manual chocolate-churner at Willy Wonka’s factory instead of stuffing your face with the product. Worth it? Aside from the long recovery time, expense, scarring and huge risk, sure. Why sweat when they can just suck, squeeze, tuck, cut and stitch you into shape?

However, no matter the amount of sweating, calorie counting or the size of your plastic surgery trust, none can outrun the age of the airbrush.

 

*This is a creative piece written in my June English exam in Matric. I've altered and updated it a bit, but it's mostly the same. Comments and opinions encouraged! Image taken from http://www.flickr.com/photos/bangkokrecorder/3124848496/